you wan't a coffee?

it's not really about the drink...

hello, how are we? how are things? i saw that photo you posted from your trip.. looked nice. i hope things are going well. can’t wait to hear all about it. maybe we’ll never catch up again and that’s ok as well. you look good together.. was that somewhere in west virginia? looked like somewhere in the mountains.. was it italy? anyways.. im just sat here on an evening flight from boston and earlier today i had posted something about it being two years since i was in london meeting with the office that ended up publishing my book.. and in doing so, i cam across this photo of my buddy niran. he and i had just ended up meeting for the first time irl while i was in his city after following each other for a few years. i recall i wanna say it was red who had @‘d me, gary williams & vnl when niran had posted something about i think being in dc and who should he meet.. i need to find the tweet.. (he deleted it) anyways, from that moment, we had followed each other and from my pov, just seemed to align. sometimes you can just scroll on someone social and just tell you get along. its not about their politics or what they do for a living but sometimes its as simple as knowing they use vsco for even a photo edit of a palm tree.. its like, yes i know you don’t have to but i appreciate that you care that much..anyways. i thought back to that afternoon together in london and knowing we ate lunch, then walked over to check out the recently opened aime leon dore location, what i remember most is just how nice the time with him was.. and instantly it got me thinking about all of these little moments i’ve been able to have with people as a result of traveling lately.

wether it be taking all of like thirteen minutes to find amelia in the lower east side to drop off a box for her and quickly catch up.. taking twenty minutes with lia to take some photos of her running on my phone so that she could make a reel to announce she was running the cph half in september.. maybe its the breakfast burritos and shop talk with salu in LA while i had 3 hour layover, maybe its 2 rum old fashions with tamon to hear about carnival in baltimore, linking up with friends in boston while there for work before doubling back and going again and taking 10 minutes to see eric. it’s a left turn out of tuft to slide through lyria when im short on time to hopefully snag a quick hello and a huge with yanni just to be present.. its checking cait’s location to see if she’s nearby so i can say hello which leads to a nice little hour together catching up while i get my life together and pack my bags.. its taking a cab uptown to see marcus in between meetings in their office to talk fall plans. a cab ride with alex instead of meeting him in central park, its 47 minutes with matt to hear about how things at huron are going.. i dont wanna keep going but i can.. i wont.. ok, one more.. its arriving in boston at 10pm and being able to get a late night snack and bev with d&r even though i saw them a week earlier.. its all part of the larger idea that’s it never ever about what you’re doing but the fact that you get to do it at all.

years ago, i had started this photo walk community in washington dc and from day one we were built on this idea of “know your city. know your neighbours.” -  i think that really is who i am at my core.. i think the funniest thing sometimes is this recurring joke amongst friends that “you can’t go anywhere with carl without him bumping in to someone he knows.” and i think that’s really a result of just trying to be ever present in peoples life. its not really much of a “hey hey hey” energy but rather just taking the time.. to find a way to be present without being overwhelming… at walk with locals we used to say “take a left when you usually would take a right.” it’s this mindset of just take the extra step.. yes your local coffee shop is closer and probably easier to get to but have you been to the other one across town lately? no? ok, go check in.. dont make a meal of it but just pop in.. take the extra time to go the extra step..

though, i am aware this is not always appreciated, it has come with failure and on occasion left people with a bad impression. i’ve said often, “i would rather help facilitate moments and opportunities for others more than i would myself.” and at my core, i believe that to be true.. but on this one instance that sticks out, i was in nyc ( many years ago) and i was going to meet up with a friend and while on my way, another friend had asked to meet up.. i said something along the lines of “oh, ill be near there getting coffee with a friend, join us! i think you two would hit it off..” they had both recently moved to nyc from dc but didnt know each other and in my heart, i thought it was a match… then fast forward, post marathon in nyc in 2022, i bumped in to one of them and they told me how hurt that made them… “i was trying to spend time with carl.. not carl and…so and so..” and honestly, even writing that down, i can feel how i felt that night when they told me this.. i think i still think about that when i think about relationship fostering.. alex and i talk often about this idea of worrying less about who we stand next to for clout and more so attempting to appreciate how lucky we are to be able to have an amazing group of people around us who inspire us.. that moment years ago was never about “look who i also know” it was, really just a “forget me.. you two should be friends.” and yeah, maybe no one needs me to do that but i also think that everyone is important and true community to me looks like no one ever being in a crowded room and feeling alone…

i think those moments of walking around nyc with one person while dapping up others regardless of if its in soho, noho, riding a bike alongside the minted boys in central park and getting yelled at.. or standing outside st. jardim taking photos with matt while two friends drive by and shout out the window to get out of the way.. i think there’s something really special in that feeling.. but i want to be clear, i dont think its about “people know me” but more so… its more hope that they people feel about you makes them feel comfortable or excited to see you and shout at you.. ok wait.. for example.. sorry.. bare with me… maybe like 12 days ago, i was in northeast dc on a bike heading up to meet up with a crew of friends on a group run to document it and as im on my bike, i see these two younger gents running, and for context, this morning was wet/muggy/hot and just flat out gross.. i didnt know them.. never see these men before in my life but… so what..? “lets go boys, keep it up you can do this!”… went about my way and thought nothing of it.. 12 hours later one of them sends me a dm…

i mean, ffs… how can you not help but feel romantic about a life like that…? a week later im near the tidal basin photographing another runner… the basin to my right, the wharf to my left, making our way to the backside of the jefferson memorial when two guys on bikes ride by as im taking photos… “we see you carl!” — to this day i have no idea who they were (so sorry) didnt catch ya in time… but its the principle of it all.. again.. for the maybe one person who is reading this and thinking “wow he’s so full of himself…” i promise you i’m not.. and if thats what you’re taking away from this, i cant help you..

i think all of this, i think this ability to have a life where i can go where i dont live and be welcomed is something really special.. and i do not take a second of that for granted.. it also makes the idea of “home” feel more and more confusing.. in fact, recently i found myself on the hill in dc taking some meetings and my co-worker and i bumped in to someone he know and all three of us went to lunch.. they had mentioned being in dc and then elsewhere and so i asked “where is home for you? like where are you from originally before dc?” and they said.. “when i think about the idea of home, i think about where i am when i dream of home, and in my dreams, im home in boston…” like first of all… geeze, that’s a bar.. but secondly that’s beautiful.. and maybe home is less of a place and more of an idea in a dream but maybe you don’t have to see home as a place but instead, it can be a moment.. because in all of those instances i mentioned above, there is one constant amongst all of them.. they all made me feel at home.. i dont remember the specifics of every single second with them but i do know i felt like i could relax.. that in the end, its a really lucky feeling to be surround by people who you feel like you can kick your fit up around, take a deep breath and just sit.. and the idea of getting a coffee together isn’t really about the coffee, its about each others company, no matter how long it lasts.. i guess what i’m trying to say is, if in the future i ask if you want a coffee, i’m not worried about the cost of it all, im more concerned with making sure those around me know im there with them, present and grateful..

me in london in july of 2022 while visiting to work on my book. i think i still wear this outfit today. photographed by charlie.

ok.. that’s all.. we’re landing back in dc now… gotta go. talk soon. wait, did you block me from your stories? or you just haven’t posted.. its cool..i get it. alright bye.

talk soon,

carl. x.