“The greater fool is actually an economic term. It’s a patsy. For the rest of us to profit, we need a greater fool— someone who will buy long and sell short. Most people spend their lives trying not to be the greater fool; we toss him the hot potato, we dive for his seat when the music stops. The greater fool is someone with the perfect blend of self-delusion and ego to think that he can succeed where others have failed. This whole country was made by greater fools.”
i think it was like summer 2016, i was having a drink with a friend on my rooftop in dc at the time.. he was telling me about the women he was seeing and how in love they were. he went on to tell me about her father and how years ago, like 20 + years prior he and his business partner were in a meeting with a customer and at the end of their meeting they were shaking hands and the customer asked about their ability to make another product that at the time, someone else was making for them.. “can you make those?” and before his girlfriends father could say anything his business partner chimed in and said “yes we can!” - “great, bring us some samples at our next meeting in a month?” “Will do!” he said.. he and his business partner stayed in the room as the customer left.. and when the door closed, he said “are you crazy, we don’t make those!” - to which his business partner replied “you’re right.. but now we have 30 days to figure out how to.”
i’ve always liked that story. i think i’ve kept that mindset with me since that moment. and i think that moment is why i am where i am life. i often wonder how much of it is true but i’ll never care to learn the truth. i just really think the spirit of the story is really valuable.
also, hi sorry.. me again. on a train again. going to new york again. “why don’t you just move there?” ok.. i get it.. i get it. this is a big one for me tbh.. im headed up for a shoot that i was specifically requested for. that matters to me. there is a real sort of tap to the heart that happens when you know someone was speaking on your name in a room you were not in. that means a lot to me. i dont know when this will go out so i’ll keep the details on it to a minimum at the moment out of respect for the others but im sure we’ll talk about it later.
anyways, back to the topic at hand.. “a greater fool” - this moment in the newsroom has always had an impact on me and as im currently in the midst of a rewatch as background noise during this season of work, it sparked this idea of writing about delusional confidence really. the reference within the show is of course talking about finance but the large theme of this idea that people need someone around them crazy enough to dream. to believe so wildly in their dreams coming true that they risk it all. i wanna talk about this. and i wanna be serious when i say this.. chasing your dreams sucks. it makes life so hard. you feel horrible most of the time. every pat of the back feels like its gonna end. like this is when it all comes crashing down. the money will run dry, you’ll go broke. everyone will laugh at you. those who doubted you quietly will rejoice. spending every second you have thinking about the thing you want to accomplish the most in this life leads to anxiety like i cannot explain. i have talked a lot about my work with “i love you, prove me wrong” and that is going to be a large theme in this piece so if you’re sick of hearing about it, please feel free to exit whenever you see fit.
wait, sorry lost my train of thought, had to exit the train and snag a cab to my hotel for the next couple days. currently in the back of the cab writing this..
see…
ok.. so where was it? delusional confidence? for those who might be new here, let me catch you up quickly.. in the summer of 2021 i moved to nyc knowing i needed a change of scenery in my life at the time, then that very night on the train to new york opened up a black aime leon dore journal and began trying to write this story that had been in my head for a couple years. you see in december of 2019 i took this photo of these two people and then basically up until that moment on the train to new york city, i built up this whole world around who i thought maybe they were. i finally told myself to follow that dream of bringing that story to life and started on it. basically that train ride was good for nothing. i was incredibly anxious at the idea of moving to nyc and was scared beyond belief so i just stared at a blank page.. it was under a different title at the time and then in october of 2021, i went to paris and it was on that trip to europe where the idea of “i love you, prove me wrong” as a title came to life. that was it.. that was the story.. then come spring of 2022, i went to paris under the idea of running the marathon while secretly knowing that trip was really just a mask for going to paris to begin working on what would now be the sort of “part one” to the project. from that moment in october of 21 to this trip, i got really stressed about the idea of this project and ideated a few ideas to help me write, finally landing on “what if the first part was a mood board to the novel and what. if the moodboard served as a visual story for where the literary story takes place? what if when reading the story, readers would have a visual reference.. like the two pieces together would make the whole of “ilypmw” - so then that was where i would start, while in the meantime, work on penning the novel as the words came to me. oh and even then i had this silly idea of hand writing the first copy.. it was something to do with knowing the coffee table book would be shot on film and that involved loading every roll of film by hand, advancing every frame.. what if this whole thing was done by hand?
sidenote: an old boss of mine once said to me “you will care about your craft more when you know you’ve rolled your sleeves up and done the work” - thats not important really but its important to knowing why this was being done the way it was.. ok sorry back to the story..
so here i am, the day after running the paris marathon, in paris, loaded with a couple cameras in my tote bag that i had bought in london on that trip to europe in 2021 (this will make sense later i promise) - walking around paris with my friend jake taking photos. this idea was so wide open. here i am, endless opportunities, paris at the ready. the book would be photos of paris that felt like the characters. he’s a soccer fan so maybe photos of a psg match. she is a lover of water, so photos by the seine.. just a mix-up of photos shot on film in paris that say “paris’ to anyone who passes by. this would be the way that i would navigate my first trip to paris to photograph for the book. then, in what felt like the middle of the night a couple days before memorial day just weeks later, i felt this urge calling me back to paris.. i felt like i had my focus dialed in.. i booked a ticket and made my way over the weekend for another trip.. got back to new york, looked at the film and knew i was on the right path. the book was not just going to be “pictures of paris” it was going to be the story itself.. but visually. from sun up to sun down.. the story would take place visual, one day in paris… so with this in mind and a belief in myself, i planned another trip.. this time, a whole month.. in fact, just days before i left for that trip, i ended up being introduced to the people who would end up making my book.. and during that trip to paris, i would travel to london to meet them.. all of this, every trip, every photo taken, every roll of film.. it was all seemingly done by hand. i packed my suitcases by hand, i advanced every frame in my camera by hand.. i wound up every roll after its last frame by hand.. so that meant, the novel, pt 2 of this project had to be done… you guessed it.. by hand.
ok wait, sorry.. pulling in to the station.. i’ll be back.. sorry.
*29 days goes by*
well.. ok, didn’t mean for this piece to not go out sooner but we pulled in to new york, and well, the following 28 days turned in to one hell of a sprint.. (and since its out now) we were on our way to new york city to photograph my friend Kate Glavan for Planet Nusa, a Denmark based apparel company. They had tapped Kate to design a collection and Kate put name in the mix as the person she wanted to have photograph it. i got back to dc and then rolled right in to shooting for another thing that is not out yet but should be soon, then it was time to take off for paris.. while i was there i had the chance to photograph a surprise engagement. right before i left, another friend had mentioned that she spoke my name in a meeting with Hoka and then Hoka reached out and asked if i’d be available to photograph their store opening on 5th ave.. so instead of flying back to DC from Paris, i decided to fly directly to NYC. i landed in new york the night before at like 9:37pm, then made my way to my hotel off 5th ave, ordered sugarfish, crashed so hard and then woke up the next morning and photographed the store opening. then while i was walking back to my hotel, i sent a selfie to our minted new york visuals chat basically like saying “hello” since i was in town. i was on my way to my hotel to pack up, and find a train back to DC. then marcus replied “how long are you here carl?…
well he didn’t use a question mark but i knew what he meant.. since i didn’t have a ticket back to dc yet, it was kind of open ended, so we synced up on a call and decided we could take the chance to photograph the next drop the following morning during a workout with their coach. (ps sam made this amazing video for it) and so we ended up doing so at the east river track and then later that day on saturday i booked a ticket back. oh wait, sorry.. for context, we decided to meet at 7am, so i ended up meeting my buddy alex at 6am on the west side highway to say hello to some fellas i knew who would be running the permitter, so i decided to join them, thinking, i could loop around the bottle portion of manhattan and then dart the rest of the way to er track.. it all worked out. i even got some photos of alex im pretty stoked on.
then i was working on a lot of this stuff from NYC back in DC and then i was also trying to finish these vlogs i made while in paris (seven in total) but in the meantime, i was also working on some content for this brand i work with now called Freaks of Nature - even got to make something for Kelly Slater.. we’ll talk about them more later.. it was a short week in dc though because around the corner i had a wedding to attend in nyc on the 14th, so i decided to go up the night before, but before then we decided at fon that i would try to do something for them while in nyc because the day before i had left for nyc i made something about a group i run with here in dc and we liked it so we decided to take the chance to do something while i’d already be in nyc, so after the wedding ended on friday, well at least for me it did around like 1:58am i went back to my hotel and got ready to be in place for this shoot at 7:30am, like 5.5 hours later.. ( i know i know) - woke up for that, its not out yet but we’ll talk about, i promise. damnit, sorry i keep missing things.. while i was in paris, i got this note from someone that someone was gonna reach out to me.. at the same time someone else emailed me about something in nyc on the 16th so i was like “yeah i can be there” since i imagined i was already in town for the wedding.. and then when i got back to dc, we had a meeting and booked it.. that other person never reached out though..
then it happened.. the 16th, i made my way to brooklyn for a shoot, which, i would later come to find out is where that other person who was going to reach out to me would also be and the reason they were going to reach out to me was because the other people hadn’t heard from me and they “really wanted you to be the one who shot this.” - before i got in the cab to brooklyn, i facetimed salu and told him how scared i was. i’ve taken more photos than i can even track. i have my 10,000 hours but this one was different… he knew exactly what it was.. he told me some things i needed to hear and he reminded me of how far i’ve come. it was tough to believe.. here i am, like less than an hour away from heading to brooklyn, standing on the corner of delancy and bowery, crying over facetime because i was terrified to dropping the ball. what he said isn’t really important as it was between us but he said something i think a lot of people in their respective careers need to be reminded of.. he said “carl, do not forget.. they called you. not because you’re the only one capable of taking photos but because you’re the one capable of doing what you do.” an hour later, i walked in the doors of a warehouse in brooklyn and photographed officially for nike.
i want this to sink in.. when i started writing this piece it was the 21st of may. less than a month later, i am done with the campaign that brought me to nyc then with a campaign also done for minted new york, photos shot for hoka store opening, and photos shot for nike in brooklyn.. as if thats not wild in and of itself, the first time i ever went to nyc it was 2014, i wasn’t even a photographer.. no one there knew who i was.. heck, i lived in nyc for two years and never shot for nike. none of this is lost on me and the point of why i say all this is not to big myself up.. in fact, i look back at the last month like “damn, did you even sleep?”
as i made my way back to new york city proper from brooklyn, i just sat in silence in the back of my uber.. walked in to my hotel to gather my things and call a cab to the train station.. in the meantime, i called my father to wish him a happy fathers day and i told him where i was and what i had just done and his response was.. “are you giving yourself a break?” i chuckled, as water filled my eyes.. (wow carl, lots of crying in new york today huh?") - i said to him.. “ya know, this last month has been kind of crazy and this just feels like an insane way to cap it all off and it feels almost like perfect timing to be here on the phone with you to wish you happy fathers day because i know without a shadow of a doubt that i am here at this point in my career because of the work ethic you instilled in me…” and this point, now im just crying in the cab.. it’s hard for me to have these things happen in my life and not think about younger me.. all of 7th grade, new school clothes shopping with my dad as we picked out a pair of blue yellow and white nikes for my school shoes and he said “ok, on payday i’ll come back and get them.” only for a couple days later him to come home with some off brand shoes that happened to be yellow blue and white.. and well because it was the 90s and i was like 12 in off brand shoes, i got bullied in school.. i never understood how hard my dad worked for me and my sisters until i was older but it’s why now me and shoes are so important.. they’re a sign of where i am in my life but it’s always been nike. so.. there we were 20+ years later and im calling my father telling “your son just shot for nike.”
i got home to dc, worked like crazy to get all the photos turned in and it was right back to it with other projects.. in fact, one of which was joining my friend carlie on her day 1 of marathon training for her next marathon.. it was the morning of the nike shoot and i would later tell salu, i felt like i just needed to “get in the gym” with my camera and warm-up.. decided to then edit her photos and make a video..
i say “get in the gym” a lot lately in terms of creative because to me, i no longer can just “up and go” when it comes to work. its not respectful to my clients, friends or brands that trust me to be able to show up on a moments notice and deliver. believing that i need to be in the gym as a creative is the responsible thing to do and it’s what i believe has allowed me the opportunity to do things like the last month and not feel like deep down i need to say “no” to things.. i’ve taken care of my craft, i’ve put the midnight oil in, i now understand more than ever that my career and my ability will only grow if i water it. if kobe is in the gym before games, why do i as a professional photographer think i don’t need to warm-up? there’s this video of leonardo dicaprio where he talks about auditioning and he says “you focus more on the work rather than selling yourself” and i think that’s important to remember when being a creative. the work will come if you become known for hard work attached to good work.
the idea behind the title, as it relates to creative, to being a professional photographer, or a writer, creative director, sales rep, graphic designer, intern, whatever your profession may be.. the idea of a “a greater fool” is every industry needs someone to do the un-doable, or the unthinkable.. to work hard, to say “yes” to maybe more than they have room on their plate for.. every professional no matter the industry sees the the thing they want to do while standing outside of it.. think of your industry as a small puddle at your feet in front of you.. and all of us take our first step in to it.. and for so many of us, we hope that industry (now so much of a puddle) overwhelms us.. we hope to never be drowned out by industry.. ie; burn out and it just not working out.. but.. to go from stepping in to the puddle to seemingly now the water being up to my chin, its terrifying to ever imagine standing in that puddle again hoping the water hits my chin again.. i’m crazy enough to think it won’t drown me but im foolish enough to see how close i can get.
this last month changed me. it did. “a month can’t change you carl.” yes it can, random naysayer on the internet. the difference between us is i believe in the power of instant impact. much like when or if we meet someone new, someone who is different than us but someone whose internal light we’re drawn to.. the moment that mixes with my light, or my color, something new comes from it. i’m smart enough to realize change has happened and i’m capable of understanding that when someone else’s color mixes with mine.. that new color that comes from it is something worth celebrating.. and all of the last month combined is a color not yet seen by me.. and now, i walk out of the last month a new color. until the next color or the next light.. has a different impact on me.. because well not to explain color science but even a solid color seen through different light is seen as something different.. you get me? i’m a greater fool because i believe that there is maybe one person on the planet who will see everything i am trying to absolute fucking hardest to do and say to themself.. “i can do that.” and then.. they do.. and then so on and so one until we have a bajillion people thinking they can do the impossible.. its not silly don’t say it is under your breath.
ok, that’s all.. its 10:54pm and i’m gonna go to bed early for the first time in like 6 weeks.
me in paris on june 4th on a bike ride slash video collecting bike ride to make another travel vlogs, i was wearing all white. felt cool.
please don’t think i was trying to flex at all about how much happened the last month. if you think that, you missed the point.. but please do think i was trying to flex about wearing all white in paris on a lime bike.. didn’t even have to take a knee (s/o drake).
thanks for reading.
carl. x.
One of your best
Here’s to new colors